Albert The Tall's Nurdling Page

Nurdling Logo of Two Guardian Nurdlers

Last revised: 29th July 2017

{This page is best viewed with the font loaded as Old English Text MT}

Welcome the Albert The Tall's webpages about Nurdling !

Hopefully this will enable visitors to gain a better understanding about the Dorsetshire pastime of Nurdling.

Nurdles

These are freshly painted nurdles - chunks of recycled timber, hewn to the size of a man's fist, rounded off and painted.

You can network socially with other Nurdlers on Facebook!!

Facebook

The Rules of Nurdling

The originally revived rules of Nurdling were published last centry by The Ancient Grand Order of Nurdling Yeomen - known as AGONY - These are now out of print, but Filbert Nutting, Grand Vizier of AGONY, is rumoured to be re-publishing the rules in a Coffee Table format, complete with illustrations.

There are several versions of rules for nurdling, some of them can be found at this link. Including a downloadable pdf version of the most commonly used set.

Hassle The Hurdler

A nurdle being hurled, against a raised fender. Note the crossed grouting poles - nearly an infringement.

Forthcoming Nurdling Tourneys

New Year's Day 2018 - gather at the Old Ship Inn, Upwey, at 10.30am, to hurl off at 11am. Apres Nurdling in the Inn, with food and drink. All Comers welcome.
See and use Facebook event at this link

Nurdling Documentary - Coming Soon!

The YouTube clip below is a taster of the next nurdling documentary, which is currently in preparation.

 

 

Previous Nurdling Tourneys

The Good Friday 2017 tryst in Ouddletown Forest saw droves of four being a bit naughty in the brilliant sunshine.

The New Year's Day 2017 tryst was great fun.

The Good Friday 2016 tryst was somewhat thin on the ground.

New Years Day 2016 saw a small dedicated band of nurdlers climb the South Dorset Ridgeway southern ascent, up from the Old Ship Inn, then a brave progression along the ridge top, before heading back for a pint or four. Young Madtillda was caught cheating by carrying a nurdle concealed in her bicycle basket, there is a future nurdler to watch out for!

On Great Friday18th April 2014, a tryst was held in Puddletown forest, to the delight of all present.

A damp group of would-be nurdlers sat in the Ship Inn at Upwey on January The First 2014, drinking, eating, drinking, listening to music and drinking, all the while discussing nurdling tourneys of yore and the reasons for not enough people turning up, just because the weather was terrible! The Indoor Nurdling kit was brought out and some tactics were discussed while those present attempted to get the minature nurdlers to hurl accurately. A draw was declared.

The previous nurdle was held on Easter Monday, All Fools Day, in 2013. The following Challenge was proclaimed.

Challenge -Portland Nurdle 1st April 2013

A very cold wind blew, but the tourney was enjoyed by all, and no-one went over the cliff edge. Well done all!

Laurence Eastwood Nurdler

Laurence the Lanky - Currently exploring the possibility of starting Cornish Nurdling

The previous event was staged on the morning of Tuesday 1st January 2013, at the Old Ship Inn, Upwey.

The alley was up to the top of the Ridgeway and along a bit and then back again {but with no Hobbits in sight!}

The weather was splendid and the turnout high {although some of the Hasher drover were somewhat tardy}. A mixed range of abilities were exhibited, with several virgin nurdlers being initiated. There were no serious injuries, but two nurdles were declared lost. We welcomed some long-standing nurdlers of almost legendary fame, alongside some up-and-coming talent. The Renegades, resplendant with their blue woad, again claimed victory {altough that was more a part of their Plan of Activity than any reality} - however the Hasher's drove would dispute that having mounted a sound set of tactics. Neither drove provided sufficient funds for the seargeants beer kitty for there to be a decisive "winner".

Man of the Match was awarded by the Renegades to Chris Rickard, whose fending was noticably impressive - after time spend practicing in the nets.

The alley route is shown at this map, although the northern extension was not traversed due to a large herd of cattle belonging to Farmer Foot {(who as a participating nurdler was almost awarded the Hashers' Man of The Match title for his fending skills, helped by his good local knowledge of the terrain in terms of aiming for the thickest areas of rough}

The Ship provided some splendid All Day Breakfasts and Live Music all afternoon, so a very pleasant time was had by all.

 

The 2012 tournies were held on Good Friday at Puddletown Forest, with a select few nurdlers enjoying the spring weather and on New Year's Day 2012 gathering at the Old Ship Inn, Upwey. A fine turnout of nurdlers enjoyed a tactically impressive tourney, starting in warm pleasant weather, which turned to rain on the return.

Tourneys {as the matches are called) are staged upon several occassions during the year, when two or more Droves {the teams} issue and accept a challenge. It may be that an "All-comers Tourney" is proclaimed, when novices may be permitted to join the tourneys, to make up the numbers and to test their suitability for future selection. In times gone by AGONY was known to travel to distant parts to introduce nurdling to other locations, recently this spread has been in the hands of ex-pat Dorsetshire folk.

There are traditional trysting places at certain times of the year, which depend on the seasonal levels of undergrowth - too much and the nurdles are lost too often, not enough and they are found too easily!

An archive of tourneys can be found at this link

Fender

This is a normal "Fender", a galvanised iron dustbin lid, employed both as a shield and a racket, to protect the handler from flying nurdles and to either trap the nurdle on the alley or deflect it off the alley into the rough.

Nurdling Territories

Nurdling has been championed by the residents of Dorsetshire, on the south coast of England. The Alleys, as the pitches are known, may be choosen by the nurdlers. Dorset boasts some very fine countryside, suitable for conducting trysts, indeed they are very pleasant places for a ramble at any time of the year.

The currently most often used alley is between Weymouth and Dorchester, on the South Dorset Ridgeway. A Google Map is shown at the link below. The nurdlers muster at the Old Ship Inn, at Upwey. The alley runs up the "old Roman road", parellel to the new Weymouth Relief Road and along the ridgeway, it then returns back to the Old Ship Inn, where refreshments are taken. Nurdlers can sometimes be found at the Ship, propping up the bar and discussing the finer points of nurdling ettiquette.

Other alleys have been used, the traditional Eastertide alley is in Puddletown Forest, near the birthplace of the famous novelist Thomas Hardy - thought by some to be a supporter of the Nurdle in his youth, documents of doubtful origin purport to provide evidence of his early drafts of novels titled "The Nurdler of Casterbridge", "Far From the Maddening Nurdle"and "Jude the Obscure Nurdler".

Eggardon Hillfort, north east of Bridport, is the starting point of an excellent downhill alley to Powerstock, although this has not hosted a tourney for some time now, due to a misunderstanding with a local sheep farmer.

The forestry land around Hardy's Monument provides an excellent circular alley, chiming well with the history of nurdling in the British Armed Forces - The Hardy commemorated was infamous for being offered a kiss by Admiral Nelson on his deathbed.

 

View Google Map of One of The Upwey Alleys

Grouting poles

Grouting Poles - copies of the infamous "Grout-master Delux" {Originals Now unavailable}

Ready To Hurl

The White Nurdle is about to be hurled, after a cry of "Nurdle Ho!" But the hurler is being obstructed by the fenders of the red drove.

Nurdling in the Media

Nurdling is featured in a Book published in January 2013, written by Mike Bushell, who came nurdling with the BBC in 2007. What a wonderful Gift for any Nurdler!

Mike Bushell Best Bits Book Cover

Get this book on Amazon Here

Visit and view the archived BBC website video here.

 

Recent media attention was in Dorset Magazine

Dorset Magazine Cover April 2011

Download the article at this link

Rory & Paddy's Even Greater British Adventure, shown in October 2010. Follow this link.

Offset Fender Handle

Offset Fender Handle - an early prototype made from copper tube, reasonably resonsive, but apt to twist in heavy use.

Albert The Tall's Notices

Albert The Tall is available for Sargeanting duties, subject to sufficient notice and inducement in the form of Best Ale.

He will also perform after dinner speeches.

Those nurdlers of feeble mind or body are invited to tryst indoors using the Indoor Nurdling Apparatus as supplied by Albert The Tall.

Albert The Tall's famous collection of Nurdling equipment is available for hire by Droves known to him, for a modest fee {but heavy penalty for loss or damage}. This includes diverse fenders, grouting poles and nurdles.

Trophies

Nurdling Trophies - Cast from base metal coated with gold

Albert The Tall can also be commissioned to produce Nurdling Trophies, cast from solid metal (either base metal or tin) in the likeness of a rampant nurdler, these may be ordered singly or in sets, prices on application. The proceeds of sales is donated to the Fund for the Relief of Distressed Nurdlers in the Parish of Upwey.

Albert The Tall's Nurdling Knobs

These are not available for public purchase, due to food hygiene regulations, but here is an image of them cooking!

Knobs cooking

however the receipe can be downloaded here as a pdf document.

Albert The Tall is available to provide training and tactical briefings for Droves. This uses the Latest Indoor Nurdling Training and Coaching Skills Apparatus
After a full appraisal of their strengths and weaknesses, Droves are given a schedule of corrective measures to be followed {or a recommendation to find a less taxing pastime}

{Contact Albert The Tall }

Down the Alley

A view on the return journey down the Old Roman Road towards Upwey, both nurdles have been fended into the rough!

Visit Related Nurdling Website Click Here

Visit Upwey Potters Website Click Here

Nurdle on high

The white nurdle is aloft - about to be fended by the waiting nurdlers.

Find out about the Wonderful County of Dorset - come and visit us!
Visit Dorset Tourism Website Click Here

 

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Red Nurdle

Credits

Text and still images : Albert The Tall

Action images : Mark The Eye ~ Documentarian ~ from First of January Two Thousand & Ten Tryst at Upwey, see more at this link.

Consultant : Filbert Nutting, Grand Vizier, Ancient Order of Nurdling Yeomen.

Custodian of Nurdles : Lizzie The Small

Keeper of Fine Ales : The Old Ship Inn

Thanks to Nurdlers everywhere - past, present and future.