Albert
The Tall's Nurdling Page
Last revised: 29th August
2009.
Nurdling Untied now available
on Facebook!!
Next Tourney
Upon The First
Day of September
In the Year
Two Thousand & Nine
Note Change
of Date
All-Comers Tryst - Subject
to Selection
Starting At The Old Ship Inn,
in the Parish of Upwey, the Alley to Extend into The Parish of Bincombe
Droves Gather from Five O'Clock
in the Afternoon
Hurling Off at Six O'Clock
Special Guest Nurdlers Rory
& Paddy, being Engaged Upon Their Great British Adventure
Applications to Participate
or Spectate Required
Newly hewn and painted nurdles
Future Tourneys
Watch this space!!
Grouting Poles - copies of the infamous "Grout-master Delux" {Originals Now unavailable}
Nurdling In
The Year before Two Thousand and Thirteen*
A debate will be started soon
concerning the part Nurdling should play in the The Year before Two Thousand
and Thirteen*, when South Dorset hosts the Sailing events during the Olympics.
It seems only right and proper that Nurdling should feature heavily as part
of the Cultural & Heritage Legacy.
A Symposium will be staged in due course to enable public discussion of the
issues. If any person of standing in the Nurdling Community wishes to make their
views known, please contact Albert The
Tall.
*This date is being used to
avoid prosecution for infringing the copyright taken out on the year in question.
Standard Fender - rescued from domestic use with hot ashes, so slightly discoloured, but otherwise in Good Condition. Note that this has not been modified with an offset handle, as are many modern fenders ~ to the annoyance of the purists.
Nurdling in
the Year Two Thousand & Nine
The New Year tryst on the
First Day of January 2009 at Upwey was well attended, but with some mild pestilence
still upon the parish there was a certain lack of energy apparent. A number
of novice nurdlers were introduced and desported themselves admirably, giving
hope for the future.
Tourney Upon
the First Day of January in The Year Two Thousand and Eight.
A
Tourney was held upon New Year's Day 2008. The Tryst commenced at the Old Ship
Inn, Upwey, Weymouth, Dorset. The Alley ran up the Roman Road and along the
South Dorset Ridgeway and then back.
The turn-out was higher than for many a year, with active nurdlers and witnesses,
including a guest appearance by Filbert Nutting, of the parish of Upwey, one
time Grand Vizier of the Ancient Grand Order of Nurdling Yeomen {AGONY}. Also
present were several young persons ~ potential third generation nurdlers!
The conditions were excellent and behaviour exemplary {on the whole}; Elizabeth
The Small conducted herself as Sargeant with great gusto and courage ~ and first
aid following a nurdler's self-inflicted knee wound gained by a spectacular
diving fend.
Newsflash !!
A tryst was held in Upwey,
upon The Twenty-first Day of November in the year Two Thousand & Seven.
This Tourney was held in Honour of the British Broadcasting Corporation, which
august body did show an interest in recording said tourney for posterity and
broadcasting it upon the Saturday morning sport programme on their First television
channel and also upon the World Service.
The event started at the Old Ship Inn in
the parish of Upwey, Dorset, on the south coast of England, upon the alley running
up the Roman Road towards Maiden Castle {one of the largest Iron Age Hillforts
in Europe}.
It is hoped that this will be the first event
in the campaign to achieve recognition of Nurdling as an Olympic Sport.
Midsummer
Two Thousand and Seven.
A Nurdling Tourney was held
at Midsummer 2007 on The South Dorset Ridgeway, trysted betwixt members of the
Hardy's Hash House Harriers - an upstart band of folk whose normal activity
involves chasing flour {which must make Nurdling a refreshing glimpse of real
life for the poor souls}. Details about their sorry selves can be found at This
link.
Tourney Upon
the First Day of January in The Year Two Thousand and Seven.
The above-mentioned Tourney
was hailed as an enjoyable experience by those concerned, excepting the owner
of the head which received a blow from a fender. Neither Drove exhibited high
levels of skill, a few nurdlers were noted as potentially capabable of developing
qualities needed to represent the County.
Public Notices
Those nurdlers of feeble mind
or body are invited to tryst indoors using the Indoor Nurdling Apparatus as
supplied by Albert The Tall.
Albert The Tall is available
for sargeanting duties, subject to sufficient notice and inducement in the form
of Best Ale.
Albert The Tall's famous collection
of Nurdling equipment is available for hire by Droves known to him, for a modest
fee {but heavy penalty for loss or damage}. This includes diverse fenders, grouting
poles and nurdles.
Nurdling Trophies - Cast from base metal coated with gold
Albert The Tall can also be
commissioned to produce Nurdling Trophies, cast from solid metal in the likeness
of a rampant nurdler, these may be ordered singly or in sets, prices on application.
The proceeds of sales is donated to the Fund for the Relief of Distressed Nurdlers
in the Parish of Upwey.
Albert The Tall's Nurdling Knobs are not available for public purchase, due to food hygiene regulations, however the receipe can be
downloaded here as a pdf document.
Albert The Tall is available
to provide training and tactical briefings for Droves. This uses the Latest
Indoor Nurdling Training and Coaching Skills Apparatus
After a full appraisal of their strengths and weaknesses, Droves are given a
schedule of corrective measures to be followed {or a recommendation to find
a less taxing pastime}